Fourteen Things
by Tsuyucchi
Summary: Both Lavi and Allen make a list of things they like/dislike/love about each other. Lavi's Dislike- His british accent. 'Curse the British. Curse their impeccable manners, fish n' chips, and their horribly DELICIOUS accents.' cheesy/fluffy oneshot. giftfic


**A/N- i've been writing a lotta lists for my journal entries in my english college prep class so i decided to make a fluffy dgm list of why allen likes/dislikes/loves lavi and vice versa with the the latter. seven things for each person. a total of fourteen things. (...*smirk*) lavi's first then allen and it's written in the dg-verse.. as usual, the only beta is my own over-critical self. which is also why i don't release half the stories i type up on word doc. harharhar. conscience..**

**this is a gift for greyfitti. sorry it's late, forgive cobalt pwease. ;AAAAAA;**

**Disclaimer- if i owned dgm why the hell would i write fanfiction. i'd just make tyki rape allen in the manga, that way none of you could ever read my ridiculous attempts at writing. so no, cobalt owns squat.**

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x-x-x

**Fourteen Things**

x-x-x

Humming a small tune to himself, Lavi offhandedly toyed with his freshly sharpened pencil, tapping it lightly on his messy mahogany desk. Lavi was very bored at the moment and the redhead didn't feel like scribing the fall of the Roman empire for the twenty-second time. (This time to be written in yet another politician's point of view) He glanced over at sizeable stack of history books over the topic on his desk but hardly felt like opening any of those prehistoric slabs of Latin. He'd much rather be spending the rest of his day like he had planned beforehand- together with dear exorcist/friend/lover, Allen.

Yes, the two were officially a couple. No more of those sneak grope-attacks or secret makeout sessions in the broom closets...no matter how much Lavi (and Allen, those hushed moans of ecstasy did not lie) enjoyed them. Besides, Lavi rather enjoyed playing a game of tongue-tag with Allen in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the Black Order HQ. Yeah people stared, smiled, blushed, and berated them for their public displays of affection, but it was kinda fun to piss them off. And the fabled Destroyer of Time was one hell of a good kisser.

After Leverrier finished giving the two grief over their 'abominable behavior' it became the absolute norm to see the exorcists kiss, watch as Lavi got dropkicked by Crown Clown when he did wrong, or hear Link's voice angrily shrieking for them to put their clothes back on and get the hell out of his office. Never a dull moment. Well, not that it had been before, but now the bizarreness factor was heightened by a factor of two very attractive bishounen snogging every half hour. Woot.

But stupid Panda had to screw over Lavi's afternoon by giving him yet ANOTHER assignment over the Romans. Yeah, they rose, they fell, they were great- end of story. And what was worse was that Bookman expected him to be done with the whole thing by midnight. So Rome wasn't built overnight but apparently their written history was? What a load of stinkin' bull.

Sigh...but 'twas the life of the Bookman clan. All work and no play. Sometimes Lavi wished that the ancient people just videotaped what went on in their everyday lives, battles, and such. That would save Lavi some sleep, hand cramps, and the world its trees. God knows how many of them had been cut down into paper for their work.

Lavi nibbled on the eraser end of his pencil, still thinking about random things, unable to focus on the task at hand. But again and again, his little musings would somehow tie back to Allen.

'Hm, I'm in the mood for pizza. Pizza tastes good. The crust is really yummy. Allen likes pizza too.'

'The clouds outside look like wispy cotton balls. Cotton...cotton...Peter Cottontail. Went hopping on down the bunny trail..or something like that. Wonder what Allen would look like hopping down the bunny trail..'

This was getting ridiculous, Lavi could not getting Allen out of his head for the life of him. Damn. He supposed this was love. Y'know when the dude can't stop thinking about his girl and goes loony and stuff over how much he loves her.

...Wait, no, Lavi wasn't going loony..or stuff. He was just very, very Allen-depraved. So in retrospect, he was going _mildly_ loony and stuff over his love.

Suddenly an idea came to him. Writing out his thoughts always seemed to help...kinda. It _would_ help clear out his thoughts at least then maybe he could finally concentrate on what needed to be done afterwards. And Lavi knew exactly what or who he was going to write about.

Allen. (Duh)

x-x-x

**_Things I Like About Allen Walker..._**

**-He's freaking irresistable, I swear.** One look at his big grey eyes, all big and wide and expectant...and you're done. You're done, son. And maybe I'm just being over-observant, or crazy, but the way Allen tilts his head to the side just ever so slightly when he doesn't understand what's going on and knits his little brows together in confusion...ahh...holy eff, I'm getting hot just thinking about it. I'm surprised no one's just grabbed him when he's not looking and just raped his sorry undeniable ass. Wait...I think I did that once- or twice. Ack! Nevermind about that! Point being, Allen's hot. And I am five times hotter _for _him. There.

**-Sweetest little guy ever.** When we're walking out in the park (that is when London decides NOT to have a rainy day, which I tell you, does not happen all too often), Allen always brings a little plastic baggy of bread crumbs and feeds them to all the birds and critters out there. All the animals love him too. Snow White, much? Haha. Then he gets this little grin and bright twinkle in his eye as he does it too and he just looks so at peace and happy...just because the bird or a squirrel or a rabbit he's feeding is happy. It makes me feel all warm inside and happy as well. It's a nice feeling. Just being genuinely happy because someone else you care about is happy..

**-Kid is not afraid to bust a cap on someone's sorry ass. **I know that one sounds bad, but bear with me, it's not. Allen is very passionate about his job (the profession of saving human souls, kicking Noah butt, defeating the Earl, et cetera) and doesn't take kindly when someone, usually a complete and utter tool or akuma, stands in the way of that. He's so strong and doesn't waiver and believes in what he does. I wish I could be like that...know my goal, be bulletproof, not look twice and regret some stupid decision I made in the past. But I guess that makes me human, all these faults. I know Allen is how he is because of the things he went through back with Mana and then with Cross, but it's still a quality that I think is plenty worth admiration. Allen is strong and kicks ass for what he believes in. Hats off to him.

/~/~/

_**Things I Don't Like About Allen Walker...**_

**-Allen's too headstrong for him own good.** He can be the most stubborn person on the face of the planet sometimes. Yeah, he admits he's wrong but it takes a hell of a lot of effort to get him to realize his mistakes. Allen just puts a hundred and ten percent of his being into whatever he does, whether it be fighting, cooking, playing card games (this one especially, I pity the poor man who manages to out-cheat the guy at a game of cards..they might find him at the bottom of lake...). He's too stubborn sometimes and that often leads to him getting in various situations. All of them sticky and in grand scheme of things, avoidable. Sigh.

**-His British accent.** This one's kind of a half and half really. I mean, when Allen decides to break out his sexy accent...I'm one melting like butter on a hot skillet. It just makes me crazy the way words flow from his lips. Perfectly accented the way that only a true Brit knows how. It's insane. And Allen just LOVES to use this against me. Like when I'm busy with Bookman duties and Allen really, really, REALLY wants me to himself. I try and try and try, but hot damn, I can't help myself when he opens his mouth and says to me, "Lavi, will you please put down that bloody book and just come play with me...please.." all sad...and cute...AND BRITISH. So curse the British. Curse their impeccable manners, fish n' chips, and their horribly _delicious _accents.

**-He's not afraid to die.** He really isn't. Allen doesn't see the dangers of putting his life out on the line every day. He just brushes it off with a comforting smile and says he'll be fine and that I shouldn't worry about him. But I do. Sappy as it may sound, I worry like a bitch over him. Every time Allen gets a new mission to some far-off place and it's not with me, I bite my lip and think maybe, just maybe he won't come back a hundred percent okay. And that's scares me. A lot. Like the time Lenalee and I had to leave Allen behind and he ended up having a crazy, pedophile Noah (Noah of PLEASURE no less, if that isn't a reason to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide YOURSELF, I don't know what is. Plus he has _Tease_! Tease! Child predator alert!) almost rip his heart out and end his life. I don't think I slept for three nights...laid in bed just imagining what would have happened in the pedo had succeeded. I'd much rather have myself die before Allen does, I don't think I could bear it if I let him die. People need him, he's the Destroyer of Time, for Pete's sake. Allen will change history. While I just write it down.

/~/~/

**_What I Love About Allen Walker..._**

**-Everything. **Sometimes I wonder why the hell I would deserve someone like him. I can't find a fault in him honestly. He's kind, sweet, caring, strong, bright, so many things that I could just spend the rest of my day listing. He's been to hell and back and even now he's still in it. The 14th's trying to take him over, the Earl is out to get him, and the Black Order is starting to turn against him. (Thank you, Leverrier for being such a manipulative jackass. Karma will deliver and boy is she a bitch) How in the world Allen can find time to think about me...care about me even, is beyond me. If I were him, I would have cracked under the pressure already. My existence is only that of a Bookman's, a bystander who just watches and records what happens. We're not supposed to get involved, to care about anything or _anyone_. But I guess I fail at that too, haha. Allen's just...Allen. And I love that. He smiles for everyone when they're sad and fights for everyone when they've already given up. Oh, and he looks mighty fine while doing so too.

So yeah, I love Allen Walker.

x-x-x

Allen opened the door to Lavi's room and snuck in a peek. He smiled softly when he saw that Lavi was laying sprawled on his mattress, a handful of papers with carefully crafted handwriting on them scattered about the bed. Allen spotted a few books on the ground and saw tell-tale marks that the redhead had spent hours poring through them- yellow sticky-notes, dog-eared pages. The poor bloke had really spent the entire day reading and writing. Allen quietly stepped into the room, avoiding the floorboards that he knew were notorious for squeaking when the slightest bit of pressure were applied on them. He carefully picked up the papers and pens on the bed and put them back on the desk then pulled a blanket over the slumbering redhead. Lavi hadn't seemed to notice the act but Allen caught how Lavi's lips curved upwards just a bit as he tucked him in but ignored it. If he was sleeping or not the guy still had gone through a one heck of a long day.

For some reason, Allen found himself taking a seat on the chair that stood haphazardly near Lavi's extremely disorganized desk. (Lavi's crisis zone of a desk could give Komui a run for his money) He glanced over at the pile of papers on the desk and caught a glimpse of what seemed to be his name. Allen frowned and took a closer look and saw the little 'list' that Lavi had made. His first reaction was surprise, he'd never heard of people making a _list_ of why they like people, but apparently Lavi had. As he read down the list Allen smiled, chuckled, and had a tear in his eyes. He couldn't believe that Lavi...Allen bit his lip and put the paper back where he found it then exited the room just as quietly as he had entered.

x-x-x

Back his own room, Allen laid on his bed looking out the window, thinking about the things that he had just read. Lavi and him...they never really discussed these sort of things unless they had to. They weren't a 'let's have a heart-to-heart' kind of couple. His words made him feel warm and happy inside, but also a little sad. Lavi wrote as though he didn't deserve to be with him, as if he was some sort of person to be idolized. Allen disagreed. Greatly.

"Alright then." Allen said to himself, getting up and walking over to his own desk. Timcampy, now awake, flew over to his master to see what he was doing. Allen shuffled through the drawers of his desk and pulled out a blank sheet of paper and pencil. Timcampy landed over on the corner of the desk and watched as Allen titled his paper.

x-x-x

**_Things I Like About Lavi..._**

**-His cheesy romantic/gentlemanly qualities.** Pulling a chair out, holding the door open, Lavi really minds his p's and q's. I think it's really sweet and cute that he even bothers to do that sort of stuff. 'Cause if anyone has noticed, us exorcists have got some pretty big things on our plate at the moment. What with the sacred blood wars and everything. Lavi tries his best to please me even though I tell him every time that it isn't necessary. He insists. Cute, no? But that doesn't mean Lavi and I don't let loose. Believe you me, we fight to the death over who gets the last pudding cup and our burp contests are nothing short of legendary.

**_-Lavi has a body to DIE for._** I'm not really sure if cataloging history involves some sort of exercise regimen that gives you the body of a Greek god, but holy crap. Lavi is toned and tall and handsome. Yes. And it's not like Lavi's completely ripped like General Sokaro or Skinn Bolic, Lavi is right smack dab built, yet lanky. Sorry, but thought of being choked to death by someone's gigantic pecs in a simple hug does not sound very pleasuring. Makes me shudder and wanna maintain a two mile radius from any dude with biceps bigger than his head.

**_-The way he freaks out is very endearing._** It really is. Lavi's very hyperactive about everything. Probably why he gets on Bakanda's nerves so easily, but screw you Mr. I Heart Soba, I think it's great. Lavi wouldn't be Lavi if he didn't howl 'STRIKEEE!' every time he saw a girl who ranked seven or higher then flip out and go crazy apologizing to me and telling me how he doesn't care that I don't have boobs and stuff. I just chuckle and brush it off. But it would be freaky if one day I suddenly turned into a girl..wonder how Lavi would react.. Oh! And Lavi also gets jealous so easily, it's unreal. But so very, very hilarious. Guy won't even talk about Tyki Mikk and hates him with a passion over what he did to me back then. Yeah, I'm still a bit touchy over almost getting my heart eaten out but Lavi takes it to a new level. Whenever Tyki comes up in a conversation, Lavi gets all dark and emo-y. I just know he's brooding over how many ways he can smash the Noah's family jewels with his giant hammer. Cracks me up.

/~/~/

**_Things I Do Not Like About Lavi..._**

**-He can be a WEE bit of a pervert.** Understatement. Especially when we're having sex. He's all 'Woohoo! I'm gonna take Allen's favorite red ribbon and tie it up in places to make him uncomfortable so I can have even MORE of my way with him! Yayyy!' Argh. I have to get a new ribbon every single time he does that. I refuse to wear a piece of fabric around my neck considering it was used to bind me in my you-know-where while Lavi and I were doing you-know-what. Also, Lavi can't go a day without saying something remotely dirty to me. 'Mm, you know you look ten times hotter half-naked and on your knees, all whimpering...' Damn, damn, damn. My face looks like a tomato right now. Moving on..

**-Lavi thinks too little of himself.** Okay, I've been through some tough crap in my lifetime, but so has Lavi. He's been travelling and recording bloody wars and battles since he was a kid. And before that he was just an abandoned kid on the streets of some unknown town. Lavi demands some respect for what he's endured as well. I hate how he's always going on and on about how great I am compared to him. I'm not much. All I am is a sixteen-year-old with multiple deformities and a messed up life. That's nothing to celebrate. Lavi's the peanut butter to my jelly jam and together we make one rocking lunchtime snack. ...Okay, not really making my point here but I'm not better than Lavi nor is he better than me. We're equally awesome and equally lame.

**-He might leave me one day. **History shows that the Bookman clan don't like to stay in one place for too long, so I'm figuring their current affiliation with the Black Order is no exception. So there's always been a chance that Lavi might just pack up and leave the Order with Bookman some time in the future. This has always been a fear of mine since we've been together and even when we were just friends! And what's worse is that every time Lavi moves he recreates himself into a new person. Before he was Lavi, he was 'Deak', an emotionless, apathetic shell of a person who couldn't give a real smile to save his life (according to several finders and exorcists). Thus even if Lavi does, by some small chance, come back to the Black Order, it won't be as Lavi but as someone completely different. Whenever we talk about this kind of stuff, Lavi just brushes it aside and says that I'm too cute or whatever to leave behind. I know that being a Bookman comes first to him (after all, it's been Lavi's purpose since he was a child) and I don't want to come between that, I really don't. But I can't help myself from wanting to keep him to myself for as long as possible. I don't know, maybe I'm just selfish like that...haha..

/~/~/

**_What I Love About Lavi..._**

**-He accepts me as I am.** Does that sound retarded? Hmm. Well to some people what matters are looks, personality, etc. Don't get me wrong, that stuff is pretty darn important. (More personality-wise than with looks, but it doesn't hurt to be amazing to look at either) But for a guy like me who's been spat on, detested, and looked down upon since birth (my parents abandoned me because of my 'deformities' in case anyone forgot), being accepted and treated like an equal human being is a little of a big thing to me. Lavi doesn't look twice at my weird white hair or my pitch black arm or even the creepy red scar going down my eye. He doesn't give a crap that I'm 'cursed' or that my life has pretty much been a congo line of misery and difficulty (and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon..) since I was born. When I'm feeling down about my impending face-off with the Earl or that the cafeteria has ran out of chocolate cake, Lavi simply pulls me into a one-armed hug and tells me it'll be okay. And I believe him. 'Cause I love him. Love his doofus ways, pervy thoughts, cheeky grin, the way his lips feel against mine, how his eyes look so all-knowing and deep yet can be so utterly oblivious and childish at times, everything.

Because I'm in love with him.

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**A/N- oy...i feel stuffed to the brim with cheddar cheese. good god, i'm glad my house is mouse-free. well, uhh...there it is. this cheesy/fluff fic in all its cheesy and fluffy glory. was it too cheesy and shit? coz right now i've got half the mind to just backspace on everything i just wrote and not go on for the next few months...=_=U. (yes thats just how much insecure/critical of my writing) cobalt tried real hard to get allen and lavi to be IC yet be all lovey dovey...sorry if it failed. feel free to come out and hunt me down. *sob***

**if you're reading this grey, hope it didn't suck donkey ballz TOO bad. billion apologies over how effin' late this is...but i did it. and yeah...i kinda ditched all the other ideas i told you about. cobalt is fickle. and a biotch. :PP**

**REVIEW. reviews make this authoress smile. and write more. so if you want more bs written by cobalt, review, review, review!**


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